dear s. g.,
it is long überfällig to contact you concerning your offering me a desk at the upcoming friendswithbooks, that you expressed last year, when you discovered my (pop up) improvisation of representing the -schattendruck- chapbooks which i manufactured in the morning. i said i can no way afford paying any fee for some desk, you said we’ll find a way. so…, if not anything is anyway much too late, i refer to that meeting you asking how this would be organised.
i am working hard to find authors willing to be
represented in that format -schattendruck- and/or in an anthologie of berlin sub-avantgarde (which i call -sediment-). you’ll find material about the projects on the sites of the edition rotefadenbuecher, which is still not more than adresses; no people behind that other than me, no institutionalised organisation, nothing. if you’re firm to trust that i will not waste your efforts in getting me involved, please let me know if your offer is still actuel – if youre in charge for that decision.
if we get along and you furtherly have advice how to not embarrass the hamburger bahnhof chose with the stuff on the rotefaden sites (if you e.g. mention rotefadenbuecher in some program/exhibition list) provide that support, i will do my very best to perform less amateur.
über eine nachricht würde ich mich freuen, st.
(ich übermittle das in dieser form, um notfalls noch sachen ergänzen zu können, falls mir, und das ist stets der fall, noch irgendwas einfällt.)
goodmorning, dk…, i see youre awake…
einfall 1.: i do not know by now if we were talking english or german in the hamb. bahnhof, for that i started in english here which is for me as you mayve recognised a foreign language. please excuse -unsure explanations-.
i am used to improvising my being present at certain occasions in the literary scene of the town and didnt had problems so far. i still not know how welcome i am to any of ces lieux concerning (parasiting) the structure other participants of events make possible by paying fees/being organised/being officially invited usw…; for that i would be happy to gather some -status- which legitimates my presence. au contraire i handled my representation of the stuff i do til ce moment very casual, that is i didnt really observed all the time what is happening to the material: i have never any company, but like to (wander around) and discover the place of an event. the -schattendruck- is mainly my very own (legitimation) to not feel myself just visitor but also kind of involved… (to create a situation where i can spend some hours watching, wandering without appearing frightening or strange for security etc. reasons -because- i am sort of occupied. mittlerweile im taking selling/presenting the stuff very serious, with some success by the bay. still my ideal situation would be one where i am not due to programmatic issues am obliged to appear in certain to others habitual (commerce behaviour.) i have an idea how to present the schattendruck at your event with few effort and i think great (impact?)…; i would, if i had access to a power source, -produce- the books live, that is from editing to the final product. that would be my idea of performing there, involving for example people who wanted to have their texts in the books which they may carry with them…
okay, das kurz, grüsze, st.
continuing thishere thought gives you an impression of how i understand my own position in this literaturbetrieb, hoping youre getting my point without remark of me ignoring your advice to -email you for further contact-. its more your informal opportunity to sneak into the development of thoughts which -may- be interesting for your (decisions) without me exposing in any way official.
ce chose rotefadenbuecher is not more than the few adresses which i -own- and i dont see a reason yet to (exhibit) my privacy by e.g. writing to you officially. i am concerned about (and queer the sites is many hints to these thoughts) my own political engagement in the literaturbetrieb being a standalone with no one to back up for my security if anyone is not content with what im doing. i am rather a -troll- than some serious figure amongst the voices heard in the scene.
i again sorry for adressing you the way i did, i am sure we talked but i am also aware of you talking to a lot of people during the event last autumn. the situation was ca. you making a (round) in the last open hour visiting the desks and gathering i think feedback…; i had taken the possibility of a desk liberated of one early to leave exhibitioner and placed my stuff for the last 3 hours there very spontanously after having presented it the previous days around the area of the coffebar. you made a remark of my -pop up- chose and i explained myself a bit concerning the fee… i know it wouldve made more sense to in the following weeks trying to establish/strengthen that contact/offer of yours, but… ich bin nur ein gärtner, ambitious, but still not to be taken very serious.
okay, you see why this is not coming into your mailbox, do you? i think its thoughts you should know, but its rather talking. i am in -real life- too a person unable to adapt to hierarchic structures, distanzlos and…, but…, cemetery is waiting for me. thank you for your patience, st.
and again informal. just letting know… letters eben…, mehr: buchstaben. i dont know why saying, talking…, anything at all. trying to.
same thing happened another time: i read the (reader) -after- the chance to meeting the people. sad, again. if programmes say real about the -realavatares- i missed again to talk…, to connect, to get to know. but: i wander the halles without any clou. just directed by the randomly i hope but i think rather algorithmically ordered presence of things attracting surely me. i learn. see. remember faces, books, stickers mainly; forget all things coloured. i learn. speak. learn to speak. remember names, suddenly.
quand le qqe me occupe les jours passé ce intense, je suis vraiment heureux de navais pas rencontre -en- plus. ca suffit. je vivre un vie sur la cimetiere et les nuits sont courts. ilya des autres choses que ici ecrire aux –den reinen bezug-. best usw., st.